If the decision is more of a practical one or concerns money, writing out an objective pros-and-cons list can help. That kind of calculation-style approach works well for meeting easily quantifiable goals, Fox-Glassman explains.
If goals are more social ā like trying to win othersā approval ā a more rule-based decision can be more appropriate, she says. This is thinking that something is the right thing to do, regardless of the costs. Meanwhile, decisions about emotional goals ā choosing what feels good, avoiding what feels bad ā might be made without you even realizing youāve made a decision yet.
Most big decisions involve elements of all of these goals, Fox-Glassman says. And multiple goals can conflict ā for example, you may want to have another child, but the family finances just arenāt there.
āWhen different modes of decision-making each lead us to a different answer, thatās unpleasant and might us feel bad about any choice we make ā or even hesitant to decide at all,ā she says. āBut if we can figure out where the conflict came from, we may have the option to decide which mode we want to follow, or which of the two conflicting goals is more important to us. Itāll still be a trade-off, but at least itās more transparent.ā
In the end, any decision can end up being the best choice. Studies suggest that people who dwell in a state of inaction over decisions are more likely to feel regret than those who make a decision. And once you do make a hard decision, your brain adjusts its preferences ā meaning youāre more likely to be able to make another hard decision in the future.
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